Being a parent is a difficult job. Being a working parent is even tougher. OK. Let’s throw one more thing into the mix. Being a working parent and student is REALLY tough. Your attention is being pulled in a hundred directions. When your attention is somewhere else, your children will seize the opportunity to test their boundaries. (That’s OK….that’s what kids do and that’s what childhood is for.) The important thing is for you to be there to pull them back. One of the places that kids can get into the most trouble is school. They are away from you all day and you have no idea of what is going on sometimes. Things that are being said. Things that are being done. You have got to get a handle on it or it will run away from you. So let’s take a look at the two main areas of trouble.
The first is school itself. Are they getting their homework done? Are they preparing for the test the next day? It is difficult to stay on top of it. It multiplies exponentially with each child that you have. I am fortunate. Both of my school aged children attend schools that use agendas. Homework is written down and can easily be checked. There is a flaw in that program, though. It is the same thing that keeps me from using Franklin Day Planners. The only way that they work is if I write things down in them and then CHECK them later. I have always been of the mindset that if I can remember enough to check on them, then I don’t really need the planner. (I know that this is a fallacy and I need to get myself into a habit of checking those things each morning, but that is too big of a shift for me right now .) My daughters Middle School has given parents a way to combat this, though. I can call the Homework Hotline each evening by 5:00 and listen to someone tell me what the homework is for the night in each of her classes. They also have a web page that does the same thing. It really helps provide you with support when your daughter says, “I don’t have any homework tonight. “ If your school does NOT have that support, it is up to you to establish it. Communicate with their teachers. Request daily emails from them, if necessary. My wife does an excellent job of communicating with the school while I am at work teaching other people’s children. Being successful in school can be one of the best ways to keep your kids out of trouble. When they feel like they can do it, they will focus in on it. When they don’t, they will look for other outlets.
The second area is so much more difficult to keep under control and that is the social aspect of being a kid. What to wear, watch and listen too is so defined by others. They want to do what everyone else is doing. It’s an age old problem and I don’t know that there will ever be an answer. My wife and I try to monitor what they watch on TV and where they go on the computer. Our rule with MP3 players is that we have to approve the content before we will load it onto their player. Sound too controlling? My feeling is that control at home is something that is lacking in too many households. (Remember that I deal with Fifth Graders all day that are clearly in control in their household.) It’s hard in the time management scheme of things to give them time with friends and freedom to enjoy their time alone when you are working on that final paper. Sometimes, though, it is the little thing like letting them call a friend and chat or send a text message.
And so we come back around to how this can be a matter of concern as you plan to enter the world of online education. It all comes down to time management. You can’t let the deadlines, discussion threads and downloads take over your time for family. Take time to talk to them about what you are doing and the importance and impact that it will have on your lives. I don’t isolate myself from them when I am working on schoolwork. I work where they are. Keep your presence in the foreground.
